Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
