Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
