I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you would pick up someone in the library
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
