Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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