She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
worst night to have a conscience
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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