You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Randomize
