Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize