also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
