i just google imaged poop.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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