As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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