i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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