My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
