With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
