i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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