You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
