420 ftw
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
