Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
