Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
