You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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