someone get that fucking seahorse.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Alive.
So much puke
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
