I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
