Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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