I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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