i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
