Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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