I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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