I'm eating all of the evidence.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
