i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
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He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
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The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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