tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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