i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I believe in your delicious
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
