This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
