yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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