I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
