Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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