Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
