yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
