Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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