So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
