haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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