Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
