I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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