i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
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Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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