It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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