Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
