Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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