how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
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