she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
