Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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