I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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