We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
