Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
