so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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