I must be too annoying 4 u.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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