yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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