girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
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Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
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I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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