I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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