I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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