her vagine was all disorganized.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
