3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize