Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
