I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
